As experts in the field, we need to take back the field

Today in class Dr. J M-R said that, “As experts in the field, we need to take back the field,” which is true but when she said it she waved her arm in the air and growled like a Wookie or gave a battle cry. I cannot tell which, but this demure, professional woman who I have never seen wearing pants or flats, gave a battle cry that would scare characters played by Mel Gibson, Samuel L. Jackson, and the Governor of California in quality action films.

She painted a scene from Brave Heart in my mind with thousands of Talbot’s and Brooks Brothers clad English teachers standing on a hill raising up correcting pens and plan books shouting, “FREEDOM” across a hill from Margaret Spellings, the Senate and the evil Teacher’s Union. I imagine my professor running down that hill towards them in her skirt and heels, going right up to Margaret Spellings and marking her face with a correcting pen and calling her a Philistine. Then Margaret Spellings would drop the unabridged copy of No Child Left Behind on Dr. J. M-R’s foot. While this was going on other teachers would chase the Senators, who clearly cannot read or tell time. Democrats are especially bad at telling time (as evidenced by their opposition to the war in Iraq during Secretary Rice’s confirmation process in January 2005).

At the end of my first session of Graduate School, no one knows academic rank. According to Carrie, I am the smartest boy in our class, even if I am not at the top of it, I do have that.

Tomorrow is my last day. Watch out, here I come.

My father called me this evening to tell me that my Great Grandmother was making her funeral plans as she has fallen ill. Distraught, I told the Major, "Your Grandmother can't die - everyone else you're related to is an (obscenity)."

And no, I don't care that she's had a good, long life. And no, I will not be happy for her when she has died. She is the single most decent person in my life, no one loves us as much as she does. I am not ready to let her go, I still need her. Her husband died twenty-two years ago, I still remember him. I know she misses him but anyone who knew him does. The point is: we need her; she is our rock and our compass. The timing is all wrong.

Comments

[Alex Vance]

You've got some hot babes there. I wish I'd thought of this "education" racket when I was your age.