The older the crab the tougher his claw

I am a terrible student. Yesterday, my cohort Catherine was giving her lesson about Shakespeare and said, “These are not the movies where Mel Gibson blows things up…” and I finished “…like Jesus.”

Other ways in which I am a terrible student include, but are not limited to:

1. I eat and drink in class
2. I wear hats like a Hoosier
3. Write inappropriate (think tawdry) things in the margins of my books
4. I leave the room without permission
5. I make irrelevant comments, constantly
6. I daydream and doodle
7. I pretend to type notes when I am making a note of something to write about later
8. I fidget and squirm
9. My attention span is short
10. When my attention span is spent, I tend to pack up and shut down
11. I stare and make faces
12. I “harrumph” the contributions of other people that need a good “harrumph”

Also, yesterday, Sarah Betrothed and I went into Lincoln out of boredom. When you are bored in Nebraska, but unsure how bored, you go into Lincoln to diagnose just how bored you actually are. We went to the Mall of Nebraska where we looked at clever t-shirts, were amazed at the fact that no matter where in the United States you go, the teenagers are the same and the less people you have the more obnoxious the teenagers need to be.

Then, after enjoying the brief cleverness of the Mall of Nebraska we went to the Hu Hot Mongoloid Grill, where presumably the cook Mongoloids. Unfortunately, they do not cook Mongoloids; the place is staffed by them!

Our waiter could have been competent but he was so freakishly tall that he kept hitting his heads on the light fixtures and door-jams. Methinks he was supposed to take out the light fixtures so you could not tell the place was filthy or see the menu clearly enough to tell how overpriced it was. Then, Joaquin Phoenix made our food – this was a little odd because ever since Gladiator, he has made me uncomfortable. The food was not even good. You get to make up your own dish and I did not really enjoy it. I normally enjoy Mongoloid Grills, but not this time. I did not even eat myself sick, but I was hungry.

Then, we watched Harry Potter. It was Friday and I was nearly brain dead after class eight to five, and it has been hotter then Bill Clinton in a Girl Scout Camp in Nebraska. I wonder if I was even coherent. I think I am using “then/than” wrong but Bill Gates thinks differently. Anyway, yesterday was “shut your brain off,” night.

Now, I will travel unto Lincoln to see the people I went to school with. Hopefully, something exciting will happen.

Comments

[Peter]

If you think his attention span is small, you should see his penis.

[Alex Vance]

What is a "Raw Seward Pumping Station"?

[Christopher]

You're not old enough to know about that yet, Alex.

[Colleen]

I never read this entry before today, but I must say - I thought all those things were ACCEPTABLE in college. I skipped out of class left and right - eating, drinking, saying idiotic/mundane/irrelevant things (adding to your "irrelevant"), drawing some particularly juvenile sketches in the margins... you name it. We would have so much fun if we were stuck in a classroom together. Although, nowadays I might be more inclined to have a spiked Mountain Dew. That would certainly liven it up.