Grad School Ain't Easy

Whoever said, “Pimping ain’t easy,” did not go to Graduate School.

I am not overwhelmed by the work or requirements. The rest of my life has been crushed by the demands of it, with the exception of my teaching. My students still occupy most of my attention and time, but this master’s degree is more for them than it will ever be for me.

My big frustration for the week was mastering Power Point, Excel, and Photoshop and make them work together to make a project that would ‘shock and awe’ my classmates – since peer review is a critical component of any graduate program. My sister/roommate/nemesis reviewed my project for errors or areas of misclarification (word courtesy of the Bush Administration’s Office of Vocabularisms and Grammacrobatics).

I owned Power Point. I rocked Excel. I made my Photoshop my personal servant. The file was almost too big to submit to the University’s servers and is too big to be posted on the class’ discussion board. I guess it is okay, I did not have permission to use most of the images I used anyway and my constant references to The People’s Republic of California, and the Soviet of Massachusetts was bound to offend someone in my class. I tend to offend most of the people in any class I end up enrolling in. I keep forgetting that the University is not the place where you find an academic discussion or a safe haven for challenging assumptions about the world. That happens some place else.

I guess I am the only one who knows the secret Ninja moves from the Government.

I also steadfastly argue for full points on all assignments – I will be lucky to get a C at my rate of mediocrity. When I can get my assignments done on time they are terrible or the servers are uncooperative. When I do not get them done it is because I teach the single most labor intensive set of children I have ever known – and in the rare instance that someone is not labor intensive they have anal retentive parents.

I have one child this year that is making me miserable, along with this equally crazy parents. This woman showed up in my classroom and berated me in front of the students because not only to I have Harry Potter, Artemis Foul, the Lord of the Rings and the complete works Madeline L’Engle on my bookshelf but I am also taking the children (who read the book and want to go with their parents permission) to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Quickly, professionally and so you could not see my hands move, I extracted her head from her ass, handed it to her and pushed her out the door.

Mr. Potter is leaving my classroom. Mr. Potter is leaving my classroom right over my dead body. She has turned a discussion that could have been practical and professional into a matter of pride and primacy in my classroom. I am in charge there and I make the rules. Also, because she was so kind about her opposition to the kids seeing the movie, I have started a push to get every other kid in the class through that book so they can go. I will read it to them myself or draw it into a comic book if need be. Everyone else is reading the book and going out to eat.
I say this to everyone: when you find an eight hundred page book in British English that kids will fight over, please let me know. As it stands now the only real magic about Harry Potter is that he gets kids to read. Also, every parents who is opposed to Harry Potter being in my classroom also fails to sensor anything else in their child’s lives. They watch, listen to, or read whatever else they want not to mention the video games they are playing. I am not one for censorship but if you are going to be a fascist, be a fascist. Do not be half-assed about your left-wing thought control.

My students have one unifying and bizarre quirk this year in that they have rallied all the children on the playground to shout up to my apartment in the cloister (which faces the aforementioned playground) until my sister appears at a window and waves to them like the Pope. I am just glad we have no balcony, she would probably sing them, “Don’t Cry for Me, Stepford Children.” At the very least, she can feel like a rock star because she cannot leave her house during the daytime without being mobbed by a crowd of little people screaming her name.

Comments

[Margaret]

You sound hectically busy. Amen on the Harry Potter--it DOES get kids to read and will not make them into sorcerers. You will have your hands full with that parent. "Lucky" you.

[Star]

I highly enjoyed your entry. I never thought anyone else could think like me, but you proved me wrong. I hope your fight for the Harry Potter books goes well. I also hope that once it gets into the middle of the school year it gets better for you, as it should. Remember to smile, not everyone can grasp the reality of thought. :)

[Suburban Island]

Stay the course, my friend. Harry Potter must remain on your shelves. Children can read fantasy and understand it for just that.

[Erin]

Uh. The problem with saying things like "peoples republic of california" or "soviet massachusetts" is the sort of thing any graduate student should shudder at naturally: (1) because it's a vast generalization and grad students are meant to be learning the importance of precision and detail (2) because it's off target, and a good argument should head straight for the bull's eye. If you have a problem with lefties/liberals/radicals/etc., talk about them (whichever you mean), not communists - they are two different things. and (3) pissing people off is just not the best way to make a point. Whether or not you think you're saying something true, getting somebody else to agree involves a certain amount of strategy.

Incidentally, I also don't get where you're coming up with left wing thought control. I mean, everybody uses their own brand of thought control but as far as I know the Harry Potter hating tends to be much more a Christian conservative values sort of thing, which is hardly the wellspring of support for the political left these days. But maybe you're teaching an atypical bunch of lefties.

[Christopher]

UGH the problem with telling a joke on this page is someone always gets offended. It has nothing to do with leftists or leftism (they can no longer call themselves progressive or liberal, those imply open mindedness and fair play) it has more to do with absurd public policy that reminds me of my well read and experience based knowledge of socialism, communism and human nature when it comes to theory becoming policy or practice. Massachusetts especially is a crazy when it comes to education law. In fact, it makes me wonder who wrote it and why the adopted it. The home of so many good colleges can not be home to such an ill thought policy.

[Yvonne]

Boy, I've missed reading you. I have to get my priorities in order!

[liz]

I LOVE YOUR TEMPLATE!!!!!!! And I totally agree with everything you said. And I am doing the master's degree thing now too! YAY us!

[bohemiann]

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone kept my family (and me) sane on our drive to and from Maine from NJ. The reader of this unabridged book is in possession of the best reading voice I've ever heard. I agree that if you deny your kids Harry Potter, then you need to be consistent about denying them other stuff, like violent TV programs and video games.
I read The Littles (book series) when I was in grade school. For years my imagination was stoked with enjoyable daydreams of tiny people existing in the walls of our home. When I first walked through a cypress swamp as an adult, I thought little people existed for sure! Of course they don't exist, but stories like this and Harry Potter foster the imagination. These stories are especially useful in mentally escaping a dull lecture or boring sermon...at least until it becomes interesting again.