DON'T

Last night, in a strange twist for my parents, we went to a friend’s house for dinner that had children – my age. At first I was not keen on this dinner, it was the family’s holiday dinner where their children come with their children and exchange gifts. It just did not seem like a good time; it seemed like it was going to be a long awkward evening.

The night before we had dinner with other friends of theirs whose daughter’s dinner conversation included screaming at her parents and filling us in on her uterus being palpitated or not with a short series of vignettes on how a visit to the gynecologist is the worst experience you will ever have – again during dinner in mixed company. I had no idea what was going to happen at the next dinner party.

The first weirdness was seating – they had a kid’s table and this one guy starts whining about not wanting to sit there. I am thinking he is a teenager, but no – he is older than me and he did not want to sit with his kids. It was funny to watch him argue with his kids all night trying to get them to eat – because we were there, we bumped him from the ‘adult table’ and relegated him to the kid table. As a teacher, I know why that caged bird sings. There is nothing worse than the promise of a meal without children being denied to you. I thought this person was a kid because he was wearing a hat inside and we had on the same sneakers – which sparked our initial conversation. Only kids and idiots (being me) talk about their sneakers. Only people from New Jersey (being myself and these people) call their footwear sneakers. No one was playing tennis.

I was worried about how this family was going to interact and how we were going to fit into the dynamic. My immediate family is likely to joke around and not take things seriously but we have been spending time with families that are dour and pretentious in their behavior toward one another. This family was one that joked around – serious when appropriate and inappropriate when it was appropriate. One such time, and the gem of the whole evening was when it was time to pray and the grandchildren had not settled down so we could. Their uncle said, “Would you settle down, we’re trying to pray damn it.”

Later that night, when coffee and desert was served, dating came up and when I was asked if I was dating I said that I cannot afford to date, and when I said that the two (married) guys said, “DON’T!” in the same voice that you would use on a kid running into a busy street or someone about to touch a hot stove. Interestingly enough, most people try to lure me into the snare of marriage and children with them, these two were adamant that I remain single and enjoy it.

It was nice to have dinner with people my own age, spend time with my family and another in a situation that was not awkward or offensive. It was also nice to get support on my mission to stay single and child free from people who have fallen into the matrimonial trap. The next time I hear the siren song pulling me down the altar, I will hear their voices telling me, “DON’T!”

Comments

[Yvonne]

Why would you have your own when you have a classroom full of rugrats ... who get sent home at the end of the day? Sounds like a perfect arrangement to me! :) Glad you had a good time.

[l'empress]

You reminded me of the time (when I was still single!) we went to a restaurant with a family of kids. I didn't sit with the adults because the kids begged me to sit with them. I was already annoyed, when the waiter came to me and asked whether I wanted the children to have their milk now or with the meal... and I snapped, "ask their mother!" ***Don't know if you've heard me say this: I'm not sorry I got married, but I sure as hell wouldn't do it again!

[liz]

If you find the right woman, marriage will bring you much happiness. If you ever have kids you will find more joy in it than you ever dreamed possible. But the wonderful thing is that we have a choice in these matters, and nothing is worse than a spouse/parent who doesn't want to be there. Follow your heart.

[Margaret]

YOu are still young, damn it and should enjoy the "heck" out of that. Plenty of time for the other stuff when it's right. You'll know when that is.

[Terri]

I've always thought you'd make some lucky woman a wonderful husband. I don't know of a statute of limitations on marriage though, so I don't think you have to worry. ;)

The "DON'T!" gave me a good giggle!

[Jay V]

Yeah I had this no-marriage thing on my mind, too. It's just that women are the ones who like to get married, and the guys don't.

Then somehow we get fooled into thinking it'll be okay to get married and then BAM we're telling everyone else, "DON'T!"