nice girls don't do that

I had this dream that I was in line at Starbucks, I kept waking up when I would get to the counter and would then fall back asleep to end up at the back of the line again. This was so disappointing because like sex, eating foods I enjoy (Starbucks, pizza, KFC) is something that only happens when I am asleep.

Yesterday, I called my Great Grandmother to see how she was doing. The list of adults I respect is very short, shorter if you are only counting relatives, and she is the only person for whom (besides the late John Paul II) that I have actively watched my mouth.

She was telling me that she had an infection in her throat and could not swallow. I said, “That’s okay, Grandma. Nice girls don’t do that anyway.” Luckily, at ninety-five she has either no idea what I said or she has known me long enough to know that a reaction.

Thankfully, now, my father has a reason to get better. He is going to beat my ass when he hears that I said that to his Grandmother.

Comments

[Yvonne]

Oh my word! See, I told you, ULCERS! :)

[Alex Vance]

You've been reading your racy Bible again, havent you?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4494938.stm

[Margaret]

You have a racy Bible? I thought it was already kind of risque. Your great-grandma probably understood you, but rather pretend she didn't.

[liz]

NOW you tell me...