dig for your dinner

In graduate school, you learn a great deal about being a teacher and about how kids work. If you ever wondered why a child acted the way it did, there is an answer somewhere for your question and in school we are digging up the answers to those questions.

My question that is never taken seriously deals with a behavior that I see in my classroom that I would like to get to the root of and stop. It is a serious problem that I have discussed before. Everyone picks their nose – or removes boogers from their nose – but it is the special child who does not wipe the booger on his jeans or tissue choosing instead to consume the booger.

I performed a Google search on the nutritional value of boogers but only came up with other writer’s pages and an auto mechanic’s forum – I trust my mechanic with unquestioned faith but only about cars, baseball, and how to get stains out of clothing – he is a genius but he is not a nutritionist. I can only assume that boogers – like Oreo cookies – have nothing that is ‘good’ for you and thus the basis for their appeal.

I am appalled that more research has not been done in the area of nose picking and eating, and how to stop it. I keep hoping the other children will notice and tease him. Shame is a great way to curb a behavior; you can always count on children to teach each other to conform – but not in this instance. No one besides myself and one of the fourth graders have noticed this boy picking his nose and eating it. The children will occasionally comment on my vomiting into the trashcan when I see it happen but they have attributed it more to the hot lunch than to someone having an afternoon snack.

Calls to the Home Office in Nebraska were not immediately returned – I think I had the wrong number anyway – but my debate coach and beloved mentor usually has the answer to any bizarre question I dream up. Although, she warned me of the dangers of teaching children when I was still an undergraduate; she painted a graphic picture of the children touching you, crawling all over you, and wiping what they pulled out of their noses and ears onto your skirt (the main reason I am a strictly slacks man). She looked visibly shaken after giving her warning – advice I promptly ignored to my own peril, dooming me to a life of watching children eat from their own noses.

At least he is not the one who also talks with his mouth full.

Comments

[liz]

I have seen kids eat it, too. Yuuuum. I just asked my 8 year-old why someone would pick their nose and eat the booger. He said that it is instinct. There you go...

[Cosmic]

You could also start a conversation about what things are bad to eat and why. When you get to the boogers, you can tell them that you once knew a guy who did that and he developed a cold in his penis and since then it runs constantly. That may scare him enough.

[Christopher]

I teach wee people, I can't say things like that.

[Kellbelle]

Maybe they keep the answers to the tests and quizzes in there.

[Fi]

Q: What is the difference between broccoli and snot?

A: Kids won't eat broccoli

The mucus in the nose is designed to be a self-cleaning mechanism. The snot catches particles that would otherwise have gone down into our lungs and then, depending on our posture, drain out either forwards from the nose or backwards down our throat. We really shouldn't be horrified by kids eating it, after all we all do it all day long. It is just that kids choose to eat their's via the scenic route rather than straight down the pharynx into the throat like grown-ups do.

Personally, I don't think it is any more revolting than blowing it into a bit of cloth and shoving it into your pocket. (And here's another snot question for you...why do people always look into their hanky after blowing? What do they expect to see there? Diamonds?) At least with the kids' method of disposal, the stomach acids kill the bugs lurking there. The adult method of blow and stow is far less hygienic. Let the bugs breed up in your pocket before inhaling them all over again when you next blow or throwing them into a bin so they can float around and infect someone else.

Maybe that is your answer. Kids eat boogers as a community service. They are preventing the spread of disease.

Cheers
Fi xxx

[melyni]

I seriously have nothing to put into this. this blog and the following comments made me laugh so hard. this morning has been the shittiest i have had in months. this made my day. i love you all. and boogers. and ew. im nauseous after reading it, and after seeing the picure janie delight posted on her blog.

[Alex Vance]

What about the carb count?

[michele]

i've wondered about nutritional value of boogers for years and finally sat down and did my google search....hmmmm....glad to find your page...but think about this, there is some reason why our fingers fit so well up our noses, don't you think? I did find one study that says it does boost your immune system.

Here's another search i did...one day i hit my funny bone really hard, and didn't laugh. I was on a mission to locate the great great grandson of the man that labeled that part of our body the "funny bone" (i was gonna hunt him down and kick his butt)...couldn't find anything...only found that it is not a bone at all...i think it said only unprotected NERVE in our body...blah blah blah...they named it "funny" cuz it was next to the humorous bone. hmmmm

Here's my next search...i think there is a medical use for baby drool!

[Louise]

I too did a google search on the nutritional value of snot, as I prefer to call it, and am also surprised there isn't a better answer on the web. As melyni wrote, thanks for the post, very funny