I think they’re wrong, wait and see

Question: Which is more pathetic: I was (a) searching for Rainbow Connection on iTunes (b) or that I was angry that they did not have it sung by Kermit the Frog?

What I learned: not a whole lot

Yesterday was not a good day. My overhead projector screen fell, nay, jumped off the wall and nearly cracked me in the head. I put my arm up to protect my head, blocking the heavy screen casing from concussing my head – which was stupid because I could have broken my arm. I use my arms, it is not as if I am using or need my head. Then, at my part time job, Aurora dropped greasy hamburger meat on the floor – which I slipped in, falling in one of those spectacular up then down falls where you land flat on your back. My head was spared the bounce on the floor - which would have garnered me a perfect ten for the feat – but the rest of me was filthy and sore.

The rest of the night I had to hear from the “handicapped” adult who cleans the store how I made a huge mess. I had not made the mess; I had only brought it to everyone’s attention by falling on and in it. As a special education teacher, I know that his problem does not prevent him for working, being productive and can be completely controlled by medication. He relies on people thinking he is incapable of operating at high levels and then them allowing him to be an ass.

This guy is a ticket: he talks to himself all night and interrupts that only to sing to himself. Unfortunately, since most of the people we work with do not speak English, much time is spent trying to explain to them that what he was saying was neither intelligible nor directed at them or conversely that ignoring him at the juncture was wrong because he was actually addressing them. This is usually only when an employee is new because when I say that he ‘talks to himself,’ I really mean that he, ‘spews obscenities and vulgarity all night’ and this understandably leads to misunderstandings and threats of violence.

His singing is what kills me – and what gets me in trouble – because I make requests for songs or sing with him. When we sing together, it is like a Gilbert Gottfried/William Hung duet. It is horrible. Last night he was singing, “Tiny Dancer” and “Piano Man” after singing with him on the Billy Joel cover, I asked him if he could sing, “Rainbow Connection” for me. He said he did not sing ‘lame’ songs sung by frogs, but apparently has no problem covering Elton John.

When I got home from work, I decided it was important to find this song on iTunes and teach it to my class because I felt they were missing out if they did not know the words then they were going to be unprepared for the adult world of singing in a cover band/doing janitorial work in a fast food restaurant.

I also instructed my sister that I wanted Rainbow Connection sung at my funeral by the people at the service. This is because of my many super powers is getting people to do ridiculous and embarrassing things. This comes in handy when you are a teacher and it has made many a road trip in college tolerable. Essentially, I would like her to lead everyone in singing that – with Alex Vance on the banjo – and if she has to, stop the singing to demand, “MORE MUPPET” or “MORE KERMIT, LESS PIGGY!” Then, after the singing is over, tell everyone during her eulogy that it was my last stint at getting them all to make asses of themselves for my amusement.

I will also admit to liking the song, sure, it is geeky – but so is reading and writing blogs, so I don’t know who you are looking at like that.

Comments

[Kellbelle]

hehe Rainbow Connection is in my guitar repertoire. I used to do it at the coffee house all the time. I used to sing at funerals too, but I don't play the banjo.

[John]

What is this "Rainbow Connection" you speak of?

[golfwidow]

I always like "Movin' Right Along," especially when you're on a road trip. "A bear in his natural habitat. A Studebaker."

[Yvonne]

The Rainbow Connection
written by Paul Williams
sung by Kermit the frog

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

All of us under its spell,
We know that it's probably magic...

Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be...
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Laa, da daa dee da daa daa,
La laa la la laa dee daa doo...

[liz]

I have never heard of that song...but thinking paul williams and kermit the frog...am I really missing anything?

[terri@my5cents@diaryland.com]

I am wishing you Happy Birthday via Suburbanisland's journal so...

Happy Birthday.

[moee]

Happy Birthday Big Boy! Sorry it's late but I seem to be late for everything lately!LOL!

[Margaret]

I would have to throw greasy patties at him if he butchered Tiny Dancer in my presence. I love that song!