iDate

It’s an Apple thing, you wouldn’t understand

Last week an electrical surge tore through my DSL modem into the AirPort and down to the iMac, one of the iBooks, and my iPod. Had Chaos Bean and I been home when this happened we would have accompanied this catastrophe we would have thrown ourselves around the living room in a manner consistent with Star Trek, complete with the ruining Chaos’ elaborate Queen of Naboo Pompadour. The other iBook was not connected to the DSL Modem so Chaos and I have been sharing this one for almost two weeks while my insurance gets its act together.

In order for the insurance to help us the computers needed to be diagnosed by a professional, and not just the conjectures of an elementary school teacher and his Chocolatier sister. Chaos and I decided to go to the Apple Store to find out their procedures for having such work done and to get prices for repairs. My insurance will either pay for repairs or replace the computers depending on what the technician says. The first Mac Genius (their academically acquired title) told us that our conjecture was indeed correct but that we would need to bring in the computers for examination. Yet another, unhelpful, Mac Genius tried to explain my insurance policy to me (sight unseen) and Chaos and I were worried because without a Mac Genius to tell us what we already knew we were going to be a one computer, ground line apartment.

We went home and I loaded myself up with thousands of dollars of irreparable Apple products and trundled that and Chaos into the car and to the Apple Store where another Mac Genius help us. Lucky for us, he was one of Chaos Bean’s people. He complemented her pompadour and recognized her jacket as being a Social Distortion jacket. I was a little worried at first because when I initially told him what happened he said he was sorry and touched my hand – this was until I realized that as a Mac Genius he knew that losing your computer, AirPort or iPod was tantamount to your Grandmother, your best friend, or your dog dying. Losing all of them at one time was like someone lined them up on a wall and made you watch while they were shot. People who do not have iPods, to include my incredibly unhelpful and obtuse insurance adjustor, will not understand.

We left the Apple Store with the paperwork we needed to have our computers resurrected from the ashes of our misery but with a new idea, a new purpose. I am betrothed and need not this service but Chaos Bean and I hatched the idea of having an “iDate” service. There are dating services for every group imaginable but there is no official, Apple Sanctioned dating service. I am betrothed to an Apple user but there is not guarantee for Chaos Bean. This is something that we have to consider when dating someone because we are at the age that we may end up marrying the people we date and having children with them – as opposed to younger people who have children and get married.

I want the best for Chaos Bean. I want her to find a nice Lutheran boy who likes Punk Rock, uses a Macintosh computer, and has enough ink on his body to reprint a copy of the Augsburg Confession in the original German, I can skip the “enough metal in his face to build a scale model of the Statue of Liberty,” but I can only speak for myself. Alex Vance, converting is the least of your worried before we send Chaos Bean and her dowry along.

Comments

[Alex Vance]

So this Augsburg guy confessed?
Must have had a chump for a lawyer.

[Margaret]

I don't have an i-pod, but I do want one. I used to use Apple, but don't anymore. Am I evil?? (demonic laugh)

[Christopher]

Alex, the Augsburg Confession is an incredibly important piece of religious literature.

[Suburban Island]

I like Apple products but am not impressed with their service. They stores are understaffed and they are snooty. About your quote - it's in the spotlight thanks to a new widget I installed called opinmind. You can install one too - it's one of the new widgets typepad has for us to include in our blogs. It takes quotes from your posts and the comments from readers and puts them in the spotlight. I thought it was pretty cool.

[Jay V]

iDate. Sign me up! I'd love to meet new people! will it have a doubles service so I can go with Melyni and meet other like-minded couples?

[Sally]

Dunno if you could use it, but I have unused DSL gear on hand. We just switched from DSL to cable. Say the word and I'll send you the particulars, because to be without high-speed internet is tantamount to capital punishment.