Dubya Moment

I am a terrible listener. I am in many ways a bad friend, but by far the worst thing about me is that I am a terrible listener. I collect the information people give me. I hear what they are saying but where I become a terrible listener is where I start to try and use the information that people have given me.

This is a problem at its worst when it comes time for me to be emphatic towards a problem in someone else’s life. I always try to equate it to a problem in my own life – which never works. Then I try to say something intelligent and funny, which always comes across as ludicrous instead of witty.

Yesterday was one such example when I told a friend, a very intelligent young woman:

So what, some retard with a boner from the pre-seminary program didn’t give you a ring from Wal-Mart. That does not reflect negatively on your worth as a person.

Let’s parse this for a moment.

Tone
Wicked harsh. I essentially tell this woman, “shut up, stupid.” When I meant to say, “Oh, it’s not that bad. Those boys are bargain basement to begin with.”

Language Choice
retard There are few words that show a more genuine lack of sensitivity than ‘retard.’

boner Who uses the word, “boner?” Who uses the word, ‘boner’ when talking to a girl, and during a serious conversation?

But, do not fear. I am sure this person felt much better about herself after talking me to me. I am sure she walked away thinking, “God, what an idiot,” and realized that she was indeed lucky not be saddled with one of us as well as lucky to be intelligent, intelligent enough not to talk about retards with boners

Comments

[golfwidow]

The fact that you recognize this trait in yourself before ever having attempted to run for public office puts you several intelligence-quotient points ahead of most of today's big political playas.

[Margaret]

Ah,well, at least you weren't saying it in front of world leaders or on TV or something. If you had said that comment to me, I would have laughed. I have a sometimes inappropriate sense of humor.

[j]

Heh heh. You said boner.

[Jay V]

I don't like to discuss boners. I would have called him a reeree with a woody.