Dueling Post: Parent Night

Suburban Island and Spritopias of “ Caustically Optimistic” have been friends for years and admirers of each other’s writing for much longer. This week, as the spirit moves us, and their respective attention deficit disorders allow they will grace you with dueling posts – the same topic from different perspectives and styles of writing. You can read Suburban Island's post here

Parent/Teacher Night
A Dueling Post

We had parent night this week and it was, as always, a tremendous experience. For most teachers this is an intensely frustrating and emotional time but for me it usually a comedy of errors.

Preparing for parent night is something that takes the whole proceeding week for me to do. I am not a nester and my classroom is a resounding example of this. Sure, I hang things up and even have a bulletin board dedicated to student work that I am proud of but I do not think to update the room or change it up. In getting ready for parent night I usually to try to spruce up the place. Usually, my classroom becomes a ‘paper village,’ of organization and decoration. This is something I just do not like to do.

In addition to making the room look nice there is also the question of paperwork that needs to be caught up on or merely verified. There is nothing worse than a conference with a parent because their child failed and midway through you realize that you did not send home any notes, progress reports or made any phone calls. I find it an abrogation of teacher’s professional duties for a child to do poorly in class – or even fail – without some attempt being made to warn parents or recruit them in the effort to educate their child. In my brief tenure as a teacher I have learned that most parents want to be involved it just letting them know when and how.

The final preparation that needs to be made is silly in my opinion but I take it as seriously as the rest. I do not care what people think of me but paradoxically I want to make a good impression. I usually get my haircut a couple days before parent night, make sure my nails are cut and clean, stress over exactly which argyle sweater vest to wear and make every effort to avoid markers – which get and stay on my hands for days – for at least two days before the blessed event.

The actual event is very organized. It starts with a social hour featuring cookies, punch or fancier fare in the cafeteria presided over by the Principal or Dean of your school and if you have a music program with any merit they are gracing the parents with what they have been working on before hand. Then the parents go on a tour of your campus, their child’s schedule clutched in their hands as they attempt to find their way around in a much larger version of that traumatic first day of school. Eventually, they find their way to their child’s classroom and have a personal meeting with the teacher. Ostensibly, this is where partnerships are formed to help children succeed but like any well-intentioned plan it does not always work out the way one would hope.

This year I had all of my paperwork together like I should have and had my classroom ready. The only thing that is different this year is how far I live away from school so in my rush the morning of parent night I forgot to shave and since my shirt was not ironed properly I could not wear my sweater vest as planned so I could had to wear a sweater that I had already worn this week – having left most of my sweaters with my parents in the frozen tundra of Kentucky for when I visit. Also, in my rush out the door I did not remember to shave.

The meetings were not in our classrooms after all and so my efforts to clean and create in the room where for nothing. They were in the gymnasium and that works out okay because you are in the same place as all the teachers and it decreases the likelihood of someone going ballistic in a maternal blaze of glory, putting Kim Il Jong to shame. The only bad part is that I left half of my paperwork in my classroom and did not have my communication or attendance logs – thankfully I had printed individual progress reports for each student.

One of the important parts though of a parent/teacher night is that no one say or doing anything stupid. This year’s highlights include:

Me: to a student Stay out of trouble!
Him: Stay out of the fridge!

Mom: Andy’s just a kid you have trouble getting angry at!
Dad & I: in unison I don’t have that problem.

Dad: My son is sometimes hard to get under control.
Me: Yeah, I would compare it to wrestling a greased pig

Another important thing is parent presentation. You are coming to parent night to make a good impression on your son or daughter’s teacher and hoping to build partnership with the mandate of insuring your child’s success. It might help for you to come dressed in a presentable fashion – or at least with Victoria’s secret kept that way. Being sober is the best way to remember everything that goes on and is key to keeping a cool head Also, being sober and not fighting with your spouse or ex-spouse is incredibly helpful. I hate to bring those up, but I cannot hurt to know those things and obviously someone needed to be done told these things.

Comments

[Suburban Island]

No argyle - shocking!

[Suburban Island]

The dueling post was really fun. I loved reading your take on this topic!

[Margaret]

I dread going to parent conferences, back to school nights, or arena conferences(sounds like what you had) but the interesting people make it worthwhile. (and I don't have to worry about remembering to shave)

[Alex Vance]

You went to parent-teacher night unshaven?!

Now I don't feel so bad about voting against all the school bonds.