On Friday I was listening to the talk radio and this woman asks the host if she is ready to be a parent. She explains that she is not sure that she is emotionally or financially ready to be a parent. The host responded that she was ready to do it if she was mature enough to ask that question. I thought that good advice until I remembered that I was listening to Adam Carolla – formerly of Love Line – because he is a crass retard (not unlike myself) and not because knows what he is talking about. Danny Bonaduci corroborated his sage wisdom.
You can tell that I am an immigrant because I put “the” in funny places.
Chaos Bean and I have two uncles who are young enough to be our brothers. If we need advice we ask Drew and Danny. We do what Drew suggests and do the exact opposite of what Danny tells us to do. Why? Danny is retarded. It may be the name. It may a coincidence. It may be completely random but I am going to stick by our long-standing “Danny is retarded” policy. I am sure there is something to be said for Mr. Bonaduci; he has turned his life around and drives a German car and I respect that. My uncle, however, volunteers at the Special Olympics he is hoping something positive will rub off on him.
I have decided that I should stop with the Internet journals and writing. I should be on the radio. Chaos Bean and I should have a show – we would be on in the afternoon or early evening because the only times we are up and alert at four in the morning is when we have not yet been to bed. Chaos Bean thinks we should be on the television because we are just as fun to watch but then I would have to worry about combing my hair and not picking my nose. Also, people can listen to the radio anywhere. People do that while driving but have no business watching TV while driving. Also, being on television robs us of the chance to piss off the blind. I could care about the deaf and you can tell them I said that.
Chaos Bean and I have all the qualifications to be radio hosts: we have unqualified opinions, sketchy pasts and we are very funny. We also drink too much, can shout someone down O’Reilly Factor style and the Bean knows where to throw down if you want to have fun.
This idea is one of my better ones. I should get the Alex Vance on this right away. This will be genius. If any of you have a radio station you want to be really popular really quickly then you should contact the Alex Vance expeditiously.
Yeah, I have an idea. Let's talk about a podcast. It would be brilliant!
Posted by: Suburban Island | Tuesday, 16 January 2007 at 10:22 AM
Well, my favorite Island just made the suggestion I was about to make to you.
Posted by: golfwidow | Tuesday, 16 January 2007 at 12:49 PM
I like the idea of you on the radio!
Posted by: Margaret | Tuesday, 16 January 2007 at 02:54 PM
SI, GW, no one is going to buy the cow if I give away the milk for free.
Posted by: Spritopias | Tuesday, 16 January 2007 at 03:02 PM
I vote for podcasts too... I'll give you a photo of myself with a flow pad and pen--- you'll be prompted to say amazing things...
Posted by: PhilosopherP | Thursday, 18 January 2007 at 09:27 AM
psst. hey its melyni. change my link. come back to pa for some ghetto pasta.
Posted by: Leona | Thursday, 18 January 2007 at 02:58 PM