LOUD SPEAKER

I did a meme for my photo blog where I had to list eight facts about myself and then post them. The first fact is:

#1 I like the song “Istanbul” by They Might Be Giants so much it persuaded me to be a Social Studies Teacher, that is the real reason I’m a teacher. I will lie and tell you something inspiring when pressed on the issue but the honest answer is that I had a date in Constantinople and she was waiting in Istanbul

I did not become a teacher to sit in meetings but if there is something that college and graduate school will teach you, it is how to sit all day while someone else is talking and give them the impression that you are listening and engaged. Our administrators have been pretty good about interspersing the verbal information with games, team building, and bathroom breaks. They need to work on the snacks.

A thing that teachers have to do that isn’t covered in college is decorating your classroom. It’s covered but there is no remedial, “boys are stupid” version of the class. It took me the better part of the free time in two weeks of meetings but I finally have everything ‘just so.’

One of the key decorations in our classroom that is required are English labels on things in the classroom so that our formidable population of English Language Learners can start to connect the names of objects with their written English form. My classroom is actually Ashley’s old classroom, before her it was Jeff’s and before Jeff it was Perry’s so the room only needed old labels replaced and I had a few left over, most notably the one for the loudspeaker.

I decided that in my capacity as the team leader I should do everything I can to increase the moral of the team during the school year and especially before it. This has included providing my team with mimosas, little gifts for their classrooms, buying them lunch and at every opportunity making an ass of myself for their entertainment. To this end I taped the “LOUDSPEAKER” label to myself and then once my work was done, I put myself in the path of everyone in the building.

Yes, Konrad Hack, it was a big hit. No, I did not ask Kristy Waterman first. I usually tell her before I do things like this and then tell people that Kristy has prior knowledge to sully her name with my juvenile antics.

I left school. I went to Target and the grocery. People stared at me, some even pointed. I’m used to this, it’s commonplace like George W. Bush’s excellent grammar and Dick Cheney’s aim. We all know it’s a problem and we all just overlook it, cringe and duck appropriately. It wasn’t until I got into my car and adjusted the mirrors that I realized that I had a sticker on that said, “LOUDSPEAKER.”

I have just confused so many people learning the English language because they now think that a loudspeaker is stocky history teacher with bad hair and teeth. Shameful.

Comments

[Suburban Island]

Go ahead. Turn up the volume!

[Shawn]

I'm intrigued by your attempt to raise the moral quality of the teachers at your school. I'd love to hear the ingenious plans you must've implemented. Are they more the type that involve knuckle rapping or the kind where you sing about peace, love and brotherhood?

I apologize in advance for being a nazi.

:-p

[pixeltopia]

My favorite sign that I awarded each day to one of my sixth graders was "too stupid to live"...

[boxx]

I have left training meetings still wearing my required name tag (sorry, nothing as exciting as YOUR name tag) and then been completely shocked when the grocery clerk called me by name. I guess he knew because I was still wearing a name tag! Staff meetings are torture. GOOD LUCK on your new school year. I'm teaching 6th grade this year.

[Rebekah (L'empress's UD)]

re name tags (not that the rest of the post wasn't interesting!) i came across http://www.hellomynameisscott.com/ a long time ago and it's one of those pieces of useless info that just found a home.