pass the mimosa

We have a new initiative where I work where we are asked to pat a colleague on the back once a week and personally recognize them for something good they have a done. Despite popular opinion to the contrary, I hate being recognized and I abhor being patted on the back. I have been playing this game for a long time and I know that I am doing my job right. I need, personally, to have well-timed constructive criticism from an appropriate source.

I feel that praise should be meaningful, rare for something significant. When someone says, “Gee, Chris, you did a great job doing something benign in your job description as well as everyone else ever has!” I usually want to impress them with my knowledge of state birds, specifically New Jersey’s, but instead I give them a thumbs-up because I am terrible at accepting praise and worse at receiving undeserved praise. I also really hate it when people act like the “topher” at the end of my name is silent.

This whole initiative assumes that we are not appreciating each other or not communicating our appreciation. I understand that coming out of the Central Office. Central Offices are notoriously condescending, unacquainted with the goings on and needs of their subordinates. I appreciated my coworkers and to an appropriate degree my supervisors and express that when appropriate. I supposed the Central Office’s decree to appreciate each other stems from their own aversion to recognizing the work we do, the challenges we face and the lack of support we work against. I think it takes a dim view of the teachers in our district who could easily leave for safer, better funded districts circling us and do not.

Teachers have a good understanding that if we don’t hang together we will certainly hang separately; it would be foolhardy to expect support from outside the faculty lounge because as much as people express support for teachers they rarely show that support.

I think that people are too dependent on the ideas of support, recognition, and praise. So far this initiative has sparked an avalanche of meaningless praise. Maybe I am different, but I don’t need someone patting my back or telling me I am doing a good job. I can look at the quantitative and qualitative date and the anecdotal evidence to measure my performance. However, someone who has never seen me teach telling me I am a good teacher is a false praise that stinks to high heaven. How could they know? What are they basing this opinion on?

It reminds me of the time Emily and I saw a tip jar at the Gap. People don’t need a sticker, a party, a pat on the back for every trivial thing they do in their life. If you are being paid to do something, what more do you want? What happens when you do something significant or exceptional – how does the praise feel when you are then getting the same pat on the back that got when you stopped to pick up a piece of trash on the ground?

There is also a latent but strong Lutheran undercurrent to my feelings on this issue. Luther argued that our actions mattered but the true measure of those actions was the motive behind them. This idea informs Lutheran theology as well as the American legal system. Why something is done is more important than the result of the action. I do ‘good things’ because according to by religious beliefs this is the best way serve my God; helping others glorifies the Lord. There are other times when I do things that have positive results for purely human and selfish reasons. I gain from my actions and I act to gain. In instances like this I feel guilty for being thanked for what I did because I did it for the wrong reason.

I am not doing anything with this initiative that I wouldn’t do before. I would never physically pat someone on the back and if someone pats me on the back again they’re losing the hand. I always say thank you to people for doing things for me from holding doors to fixing roofs to taking bullets. I write notes, bring flowers, and send chocolates as appropriate but I feel like this scheme will diminish the value of any kind of praise or thanks given.

Just as an action is truly judged not by its outcome but by its motive, so will the recognition handed out at work. In the end I think everyone will end up feeling cheapened but I hope I’m wrong.

Comments

[Margaret]

Amen on the Central Office analysis, AND on how meaningless forced praise is. How does one ever know what meant SINCERELY? People can't and shouldn't always feel good about what they're doing; we can all do better, with deserved praise and encouragement along the way, when MERITED.

[Shawn]

The whole intent over results focus seems to me to be very egocentric. I'm not saying that I disagree with it, but I do want to point out that it has its flaws. A man who attempts to solve the world energy crisis and kills a laboratory full of scientists to achieve it may feel himself to be in the right, that the consequences may be tragic but acceptable for the greater good. Certainly it was not his intention to kill them, but does that exonerate him from the deed? Does it free him from the consequences?

They say that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions and it is true, to a degree. Beware the slippery slope of the egoist and do not confuse selfishness with willfulness. Otherwise, rock on!

:-)