Le Mort de Marie

My friend Marie at Suburban Island had a near death experience, which she discussed at her page. She thinks that I could somehow make the death of my dear friend, mentor and accomplice into a humorous tale. I think she is one sick dame.

Now Marie is deeply religious and takes her Catholicism very seriously (at least for a middle class, suburban white woman) and when she dies she will most likely be canonized as the patron saint of the Internet, suburban housewives and Bloggers but I think an early death is out of line. She has to perform three miracles before she dies anyway, so it is not her turn.

When my partner in crime does find herself in queue to see Saint Peter she will soon hear this prayer from her beleaguered devotees:

Hail Marie, full of wit, hear us Bloggers now and in the hour of our emo. Keep one hand on my shoulder, the other firmly over my mouth – hold on a sec, okay?

I’d like a Double Caramel Mocha Frappachino with whip and sprinkles. Could you use skim milk and make it venti? Perfect!

Beautiful Marie, gracious advocate: help my stats flourish and readership grow. Stay my hand when I start to rant and guide me towards the well-developed sentences and story lines – hold on again, I’m sorry – someone is beeping on the other line. Okay, okay. I’m back– yea though I walk through the Valley of Tech Support I will fear no error message for you are with me.

Keep my ideas fresh and my camera handy. Guide me to good blogs and good readers to me, if I die before I wake I pray the Lord my toys to break. E Pluribus Unum. Amen.

However, when Marie hears the wireless access in Heaven leaves a lot to be desired I’m sure she’ll be less likely to go towards the bright light. That and knowing that her husband and kids can nag her in Heaven as on Earth she will stay here with her headphones. Also, I need her for my varied adventures as a willing participant or vicarious comrade. I don’t know what I’d do without her, or the rest of world for that matter.

Comments

[Suburban Island]

Now I suppose I must strive towards the goal of at least marginal aspects of sainthood just because I would very much like to be the patron saint of the Internet, suburbanites, and bloggers. I am going to frame that prayer to inspire me! But don't worry, I'm really looking before I cross the street AND turning off the sound on my iPod. Patron saints in the making have to learn from their mistakes and set a good example for others.

[Margaret]

Is she also the Patron Saint of coffee drinkers? That order sounds like one a Seattleite would order! We are very into complicated drinks, even me with my Venti mocha non-fat with no whip. P.S. Death is female La Mort

[Spritopias]

Thanks, Margaret! I fixed it.

[lisele]

ChristoSprito, you must email me and clarify that last comment. I want the who what when where why and how. You tease...

[lisele]

Oh, and I loved the prayer, by the way.

[bettyalready]

She will be the Patron Saint of all Internet and will be an incorruptable and her body will be on display until 2012, at which time the Mayan calander ends and then we don't know what. But we can hope that her body will be on display for decades and decades and even centuries and when the crystal coffin she's in is touched by the people praying, miracles will occur. A lot.

[Suburban Island]

The perfect thing would be if I could be a cross between sleeping beauty and an incorruptable saint. It's a nice twist on the crytal coffin theme.