a poem for intersession

‘Twas the day before intersession, when all through the school
Not a student was studying, mouths lolling with drool;
The tests were written by the teachers with care
In hopes that adolescents would soon be pulling their hair;
The teachers were nestled all snug in their chairs
While hopes that mimosas soon would be theirs
And Ashley in her flip-flops, and I needing a nap
Had just settled our brains that the day before intersession is crap

When out on the Colonnade there rose such a clatter,
That I hoped that someone competent would deal with the matter;
Knowing better, I got off my ass and was off like flash
Threw open the door ready to fling myself into the mash.
With the sun burning the grass trying to grow,
Added to the macabre scene we endeavored to sow.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But eight tiny boys, something to fear!
With a little leader, both morose and irate,
I knew in a moment he had stayed up too late!
And he whistled and shouted and called the teachers by name:

Now Math! Now Science! Now Reading and Writing!
Now History! Now Art! Now Computers and Typing!
We want to laze around the porch and terrorize the Malls!
We are here to flirt with girls and wander the halls,
Not spend the day studying and speaking in rhyme,
Why then with projects and tests do you waste our time?
A lot of people live in Gettysburg; there is not one Address
And I don’t care that I can’t add and my sentences are a mess!
And then, in a twinkling, I heard in my spoof
Bubble-Gum pop-ing, cell phones text-ing for proof

As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Into the classroom they came in a bound.
The leader was dressed all in brand names from his head to his toe,
And he hadn’t bathed in so long I was wondering when mold would grow.
A bundle of books he had flung on his back,
He looked like a migrant with his household on his back.
His eyes how they twinkled and his dimples so merry!
If you didn’t know him, you wouldn’t know he was scary,
“I know you worked really hard and you did your best,
But there is no way in hell we are taking that test!”

The littlest one, took the stage and spoke with great care,
Tiny chest puffing, voice rasping like sticks on a snare:
“We had a book report in Science, and homework in Math,
And you are more than right, I haven’t taken a bath!
We have a quiz on Greek and Latin in Language Arts,
And you want us to extemporize on a bunch of old Farts?
For a great long time this had needed to be said,
You, kind sir, are clearly out of your head!”
And then, with a hand and blessing of the rest,
The tiny boy mounted my desk and tore up the test

Comments

[Margaret]

You are extremely clever. What is intersession?

[Spritopias]

We have a week off between sessions, or quarters.

[lisele]

Heh. Very vivid. Enjoy intersession.

[Suburban Island]

Sounds more like an intervention!

[Chaosbean]

aw... that makes me want to rip out my ovaries...

I hope the little stink factories weren't too bad