I’m terrible at Christmas because, in general, I suck at life. I’m inept at picking out gifts, and worse at receiving them. I’m incredibly materialistic but since the schism with my mother’s family I prefer to buy anything I have myself and not have to depend or ask another soul for anything.
I did receive some incredible gifts – a generous soul found the font of all argyle snow hats for men and sent them to me – and did find a fleur-de-lis for Suburban Island that was a homerun. Everything else fell flat. I’m also terrible at the card business. That went downhill for me when I decided to stop “sharing the peace” with people at church who don’t speak to me the other six days in the week. This extended into Christmas cards when I stopped opening them from people I don’t talk to any other time of the year and I’ve just stopped sending them myself.
I used to feel bad about being terrible at Christmas until Christmas Eve.
I heard four Christmas Eve sermons all the same topic, all with the same points. I smell a rat. Two on the radio and two in church all had the same theme, main points, examples and historical references. It was like President’s Day when the children recite the Gettysburg Address.
While I am sure you’re quick to jump to their defense and point out that there are only so many angles of the incarnation of Christ to explore I submit to you that it wasn’t that simple. Each of the sermons or homilies discussed the social status of Hebrew shepherds in Back-in-the-Day BC. I am pretty sure that this was an article somewhere in a magazine or periodical that is mainly read and considered by theologians and clerics. I’m also pretty sure that they didn’t expect some zealot of a grinch to be that into Christmas Eve and catch them, but it happened.
I know that everyone is busy during December, even pastors –
especially Lutheran ones who bump their one day of accountability up to two –
but I don’t get to have someone else test drive my customers so I think they
could write their own sermon for this very auspicious occasion.
So I get it, shepherds couldn’t keep the law perfectly or well at all and no one would have them testify in court because they were of questionable character. Apparently now everyone in America will get it and perhaps further. I didn’t go to church in the English speaking parts of Canada.
Lesson learned: don't feel bad about being terrible at Christmas, you're not the only one.
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