a tiny pianist

I  like nonsense and non sequitur, and even if I can’t pull together a collected thought that moves freely and logically from paragraph to paragraph I enjoy all the crazy ideas in my head.  I don't enjoy posts that ramble on about unhappiness 

I like hearing the old lady play piano at the department store in the mall.  It reminds me of Leah Monster and how life is a great deal more complex when you have to keep up with her train of thought.  When I can afford it I will pay a pianist to play in my home while I write.  I would hire Leah Monster but when you came over, you would comment, “My, you have a tiny pianist.”  It is very rude to comment or poke fun at the size of a man’s pianist. 

I like that the fries at Red Robin are bottomless even if they’re contributing to my bottom.  Today I am joined the gym and broke up with my longtime boyfriend, Ronald McDonald.  He doesn’t need to know that I’ve been cavorting with Dave Thomas and Colonel Sanders.  I’m breaking up with them, too.  My friend Jason would suggest jogging around the block and not joining a gym – he’s right that if you don’t go then you’re wasting your money but I am tighter with my money than you’d suspect because if I’m paying for something I am going to get my money’s worth. 

I like that everyone is gung-ho about any new trend that comes up to show support for breast cancer research.  I’ve just lost a dear friend to colon cancer – or what had began as colon cancer – and I’d like everyone to support research to cure all cancer.  After that, let’s search for a cure for a-holes.  I’m very sad that I’ve lost my friend and dejected that Satan’s younger brother sits in the desk behind mine – but unlike seventh grade, I can’t clown him into submission on the technicality that he’s my boss.  

I like that the plant on my desk hasn’t died, despite my best efforts to the contrary.  I am anti death and I’m glad that this plant has chosen life and to overcome my indifference to watering it on a regular basis.  If it were a human, or perhaps a canine, I would do my level best to ensure quality of life from conception to death.  However, it came up out of the ground and is on it’s own – even if it can’t move. 

And most of all, I am glad that YouTube has subtitles for programming from Britain and Australia in English so that I could pretend to enjoy them but I’ll be honest – I have no idea what’s going on.  I wonder if they have as hard a time understanding people in the United States, even those of us with impeccable Midwestern accents and perfect diction.  I’m not sure if that should have ended in a question mark or in a period; I am confident that this should end.  

Comments

[marna]

i am glad for you:)