my holidays season will kick ass

I'm always annoyed at the holidays and I've decided that this year I won't be.  I needed a plan, an action, that would make this wish a reality.  We had a potluck at work and I’m never sure who I should be annoyed at when we do these things.  Should I be annoyed at the person who brought a bag of store-brand potato chips or myself for putting time and effort into making something good but also nutritious?  I’ve decided that my first rule is that, “It’s your own fault,” because when you can be the party at fault you can also be the agent of change.  So our potluck at work set the tone for my whole holiday season: I’m going to make sure I’m merry and bright and if you’re along for the ride, hallelujah. 

First: It used to bother me that I’d bake a carrot cake or make (a well-received) coleslaw – and other people would make something while the office jerk would bring in a bag (sometimes two) of store brand chips.  When it was ‘game on’ to make your plate he’d be first in line and swagger back to his desk with a plate heaped with other people’s hard work leaving his chips alone.  No one eats his chips.  I usually don’t eat most of what is brought (it’s not good for you) and this year I decided that I am going to not bring anything to the potlucks.  I don’t eat the food (save what I brought or Robin’s deviled eggs) and it makes me angry.  I stopped going to church potlucks years ago and I will never, ever go to another potluck or participate in another one.  That’s my present to myself.  If we all want to share crappy food together lets all throw in six bucks and order in pizza. 

Second: I’ve made everyone a gift this year.  I can’t afford to buy gifts for everyone I’d like to share something with this holiday season.  The purpose of a gift isn’t, “you need a sweater,” but to say, “I wanted to somehow, someway make your holiday season better.”  So, I made everyone a gift in the spirit of, “it was the thought that counts.”  Just like the gifts my mother used to make people I think they’re nice and I like them.  When you get yours, look at it and know that I spent my only day off making it and my intention was pure: to brighten your day.  Feel free to then toss my gift in the rubbish bin because chances are I won’t like your gift either.  I hate receiving gifts.  There is so much wrapped up in the gift beyond something you picked up at the mall and I’ll have no part of it. 

Third: there are tons of family ‘traditions’ we have around here that revolve around food.  The past couple of years I’ve done all that cooking, baking, cleaning, and worst of all spending involved in the process.  Dad said, “thank you,” Mom pointed out everything I did wrong.  This year if it is important to you having a good holiday if you’re my mother or the man on the street it will be up to you to do it.  You have the recipe for cereal so I know you won’t starve on Christmas morning if you don’t have that special breakfast you’ve had for over twenty years.  Just like Mary and Joseph looking for a place to stay, you’re on your own.  As much as I may miss that breakfast I know I’ll miss the dishes and shitty comments less.  This goes for your tree as well.  My contribution will be getting it down from the attic for you. 

Send me an e-mail so I can mail you your present. 

 

 

Comments

[Erin Colligan]

Im very glad to hear that u are in the holiday spirit this year! Also u should blog more, I know we all enjoy reading them :)
Erin

[Cooke Crumbles]

hoping you and yours enjoy a pleasant holiday season.
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